A Tree in Two Seasons

    


The page is my canvas.  The key stokes my brushes.  Let me paint you a picture of a tree in two seasons.

     A tree is swaying in the wind.  There is no sound because there are no leaves.  The last leaf fell with the first frost.  The winter brought no refreshing water, but only winds cold enough to shiver anything that dared be outside.  Small insects sought shelter, making homes in the crevices of cracked wood on the strong sable trunk; Relationships hanging onto what solace a broken limb may provide.

      In the coldness I relive the regrets of my life.  Why did I make the choices I did?  Why did I not take better care of myself and others in my life?  Why divorce; why addictions, why not more money, more of this, more of that; why not more like someone else's life?  Where is my God?  Why do I feel so cold and dry?  I read my Bible; I pray.  I tell myself "Have faith . . . have faith . . .” With little belief, I hang desperately to the words, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God." 

    It seems that spring takes too long to come, but it comes.  The brightness of sun rays breakthrough in glory past wispy cloud edges.  Shadows disappear as the warmth of bright sun rays reach the tree's scars and very core.  The tree stands stronger for having survived the winter.  A few buds start to sprout and the insects march out of their hiding places.  Slowly, the uncurling of leaves clothe the branches in silky green umbrellas providing protective shade to the fragile new flowers blooming below.  The harmony of the soft percussion from gentle breezes stirring the leaves and children's laughter brings smiles to those who listen.  The tree is dependent on the sun and cool waters that revive it again and again.   Others grow from the sweet fruit it provides. 

     What was once ugly has become beautiful.  No more pride and arrogance which feeds depression and regrets.  Cherished gratefulness for struggles that humble me.  Gratefulness for survival.  Gratefulness for the blessings of love, of and for children, friends, family.  Gratefulness I am not hungry and I can still climb a mountain.  Gratefulness for the lessons of compassion for those that are in their winter season.  Gratefulness that the clouds are gone and the view is clear in this new season.  Lessons.  Do not despair; it takes death and renewal for the beauty of spring to bloom.  Do not despair; it takes four seasons to make a full year.  Do not despair; it takes many seasons to make a full life.  I am grateful God does cause all things to work together for good to those who love Him. 

 With gratefulness for my Lord,

Priscilla
9-25-13

A Small Span of Space

     There was a time I was pro choice. I mean, after all I am a woman, shouldn't I be able to do with my body what I want?  So I waved the women's rights banner along with my sisters.  Then I became a Christian, and I was pro life, but at that time it was just because that's how a Christian is supposed to believe.  So I waved the ten commandments banner along with my sisters.  It really took longer for me to come to the realization of what I really believed no matter what my sisters on either side would say.
     I think back to the 1973 landmark decision of Roe versus Wade that opened the door for abortion to become a contraceptive alternative. How far we have come since then.  Dr.'s, who know nothing about our child's mind or heart, can perform abortions for our children without our knowledge or the benefit of parental care and love. Even a school nurse isn't allowed to give that same child an aspirin. Yes, how far we have come.
     When I was pregnant with my first child in 1981, the ultrasound picture was a black and white blur. You could see it was a baby, but details were lacking. It still looked like someone could have easily drawn the picture with a black crayon, smear it with a bit of water to make this photo of a baby shaped blob. Don't get me wrong, I cherished that first picture that is forever memorialized in Rick's baby book.
     Now days, the pictures can be detailed in all the fleshy color of a human clearly showing the form of a little baby as well as the sex.  Even early on, there is no mistaking that one is looking at a full fledged baby growing and developing. The nose, toes, thumb in mouth; It's amazing!  I wonder, if we had the detailed pictures that we do today showing all the very clear stages of a growing baby in a womb even in the very early stages of development - available back when Roe versus Wade was being decided; Would the outcome of the case have been different?
     And, the medical wonders of medicine that helps babies survive when born prematurely now is amazing. I read that the youngest baby born that survived was 21 weeks and 6 days (Amillia Taylor). This is despite the fact that babies are not believed to be viable (able to survive outside the uterus) prior to 23 weeks gestation. When I was born, babies had a lot higher mortality rate when born premature. 
     The Roe versus Wade decision allows for abortion up until the time the baby has the likely hood of surviving outside the womb (being viable).  So, I could have a baby that's living in my womb, and it's okay for me to decide to put her "outside the safety of the house (womb)" as long as it's before she could make it on her own.  Otherwise, once she does make her own way "out of the house", full term, or born premature, I no longer have a choice. It's amazing to think that there is such a short span of space, that door, that determines my rights over the rights of that baby. And we are not just talking about a right to a parking place, but a right to live an entire lifetime. Just a small span of space inside my womb versus outside that can determine who can call the shot of life or death. 
     I got to thinking about the times when it was hard raising small babies. One time, my oldest son as a trying two year old was so out of control this particular day, I locked myself in my room to breathe for a few moments before I thought I might lose my sanity.  I could have kicked him outside of the house, but that certainly wouldn't have been legal; not within my right.  If I put my child out of the house, his chance of survival on his own would have been slim.  Maybe with other people's help, but certainly he could not survive by himself.  You could say he was "not viable."  But, if he was still in my womb, I could kick him out of the house while the law considers he is not viable.  Just a small spoon of space and time; both situations, he really is not viable, so why is one legal and the other not? Because one is on the outside of the house already?
     I could go on and give you the "God created all beings" argument, and thou shall not kill, (and I do believe both those things) but I wanted to show this from an individuals eye and mind, not a women's rights view, not from a religious view, but from a logical view.  In the end, yes, I am for the baby.  Abortion just doesn't make sense.  Why, when we cry for people's rights, including children's, we aren't crying, kicking and screaming for these baby's rights?  We get upset at every other evil that takes place against children, i.e., school shootings, child abuse, etc.  What about the babies that due to a small span of space - it has been determined they don't have rights?  
     Google "ultrasound it even in the early stages of pregnancy and look for the flesh colored pictures.  Look at the feet, the arms, the little buds.  Even without the pictures, consider the heartbeat.  Is there an inanimate thing in the universe that has a heartbeat?  Except for those on death row, is there any other time a heartbeat is allowed to be silenced?  Why would we destroy something a heartbeat, no matter what side of the door it resides, and not call it murder?  Does not a pregnant mother feel the kicks of a baby early on?  Does not that same baby have a right to fight to live?  These are growing babies. Just because they are separated by a small span of space from being out of the womb and into the world does not make them any less a baby.  You can't kick your baby out of the house, why should you be allowed to kick a baby out of your womb?

     I could go also talk about the devastating effects that abortion has on a woman (who in many cases may be so young to as not even understand the long term effects), but I have said enough. This is not about women, it's about babies. To overturn abortion is not going back in time, but progressing out of the barbaric times when we didn't believe these were babies. We only had blob pictures.  To overturn abortion we are balancing the pendulum that often swings too far to one side when we first grab on to what our ambitions believe is right at the time. Let's stop being so self-centered, open our eyes and hearts to compassion. Let's learn to practice smarter ways of birth control!
     I am not going to address if there are times abortion may be necessary.  It's not the what ifs or what about this or that circumstance, or other out of the normal situation I have set out to speak about, though I understand those are important.  I just wanted to state why this woman has come to the conclusion, on my own, Christian or not, Women's lib or not, I gave up my rights to my body once it became a home to a developing, growing baby. Just like when my baby is in a house, it then became my legal obligation to properly care and tend for that baby.  I gave up my right to not say, "I am not a mother"; and as a mother, my children come first.

He Meets Us Where We Are

I have a passion for hiking.  While lying in bed, I think of the different trails and plan the next route.  I can’t wait to get out in God’s beauty and share it with others.  At the end of a good hike, I am so relaxed and pleased with the combination of friendship and the awestruck wonder of seeing the Artist’s palette of creativity.

My plan for getting up extra early is to spend quiet time in God's word and in prayer before heading out.  Often, as I was engrossed in the Bible, I found I was rushing to get ready for my hike.  Being the organizer, showing up late is not an option.  I decided to start getting cleaned up and ready for my hike first, then getting into the Word.  As the days went by, other things started making their way into my minutes of getting ready, such as looking at email (just in case any attendees had last minute questions), looking at trail maps, getting hooked by something on the internet.  ‘Just a moment’ here and there in other things resulted in rushing to my quiet time with God prior to leaving.  I realize how easily the world can distract me!  I’ve got to take audit again of my morning time, be disciplined and not cut my time short with God.  I know how wonderful that morning time with God is, so why do I let this happen?

Today, I planned a hike that is rare – we will be walking along a beautiful creek that is quite full after park Rangers let water out of the damn from the rains.  It's not often we get to be by water.  I have 12 people signed up to attend that I will be guiding on different trails.  As the time to leave is near, instead of going to the chapter in Revelation I am studying, I grab a daily devotional book, “With God on the Hiking Trail” by Nathan Chapman.  My thought was "this won't take long and I will still get a little study in".  My bookmark was on a page titled, “The Forever River” with Psalm 42:1; “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.”  I laughed.  God is so funny how He speaks to us sometimes - so clearly, so gently; He reminds me how much I need Him.  I may have been hurried, but He met me where I am.  He forgives me for my shortcomings.  He is a gracious God.  He is so good!

 “Lord, forgive me for my weaknesses.  Help me to be disciplined and not get so distracted as to cut our time short.  Help me to give my first fruits to you.  Thank you for your grace, Lord.  Thank you for your beauty.  Thank you for this awesome day.  As I walk the trails today, help me to be a good witness for you.”  Amen

Perhaps you feel guilty that you don't get enough alone time with God, or you should be doing this or that for God.  It's hard to get up early; it's easy to get distracted and the list goes on.  Pray for discipline and desire.  If time gets away, don't beat yourself up; grab the moments when and where you can.  He will meet you where you are.  He totally loves you. 

"Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:2 (ESV)

Welcome

I used to wonder why anyone would want to spend their time reading about other people's daily lives and thoughts.  I've come to realize God has given us a gift in our ability to share with one another.  We are all unique, yet the same in our desire for love.  I know that my Sisters can help and learn from each other in their journey along the way.  I hope that God's inspiration and the love that only He can provide will be the driver of this blog to bring myself and others closer to each other and to Him.